My Name is Marty

Ok, I’m back! I’ve had a hard time getting on here to post lately, so please forgive the delays!

I’ve been a bit preoccupied with important things, like licking myself and making sure the humans don’t feed me poisoned dog food.

Seriously, though……….. I hate the kitchen floor. Have I mentioned that? The linoleum just creeps me the hell out. I can’t stand to have it under foot. My human tried to make me walk through the kitchen the other day to get to the bathroom…. No. NO way. I refuse.

So I got carried, and unceremoniously dumped onto the bathroom floor. I’ll admit it. I know it wasn’t a very many thing to do, but I plastered myself to that floor and I cried like a baby.

Then I was once again picked up and dumped into the bath tub. Ahh, that bath felt good. I love baths!

I’ve grown, too. I’m a lot taller than I used to be. I used to be about the same height as the other dog, but now she has no problems walking under me.

Here are a couple of new photos. Check out my new collar. I’m off to play tag with the short human!

Ok, wow. I’m really really really sorry I haven’t updated in forever! Man, it’s just rough. The humans were all sick, and then everyone was busy, there haven’t been any new photos taken, and wow… Time just flew by. I didn’t realize it had been so long.

Life with the humans has been great. Except for that one time I got <i>thrown</i> outside for peeing from one end of the house to the other and back …. and then peeing on the human’s feet. I really had to go! But it was cold, and I didn’t want to go outside, so a chase ensued and I just couldn’t hold it.

Other than that, though, I’ve left nothing at all on the carpet for the humans to complain about. Aside from that one morning, I’ve been a “good dog.”

I really like the ohter dog. We get along great, and she’s fun to chew on. You can only push her so far, though. Still, I like to gnaw on her elbows.

The humans ordered a fence collar for me today, so I, too, can roam the yard in relative freedom. I’m not sure exactly how it works yet, but I’m excited to get it and give it a try.

I destroyed my favorite chew toy the other night. It was fun, but at the same time, I was kind of sad when it was thrown in the garbage. I admit, I actually cried. I’m a big softie. Other than that, though, I’ve been great! I’ve had a bit of a cough, but it’s going away.

Not much going on today. It’s just a rainy sunday, good for curling up in front of the fireplace, or at the foot of a bed, which is how I spent most of my day. I enjoyed it.

I did eat a couple of interesting things today. The first was a liver dog treat. Man, was it ever good.

I also ate the screen on the front door today (well, ok, I didn’t actually eat it, I just chewed it up good). The humans didn’t seem to mind too much, actually. They scolded me a bit, but I don’t think they really meant it. It was already torn, and one of them said something about having planned to have taken it off anyway. Oh well?

Sorry I didn’t update yesterday, folks. My paws were tired from digging a giant hole in the back yard, so I could get under the wall of my kennel. Those silly humans. If I can’t go over, I’ll go under. I was pretty proud of that hole, too. It was huge! Took me half the morning to dig, but in the end, it was worth it.  I got my collar and my tags all muddy again, though…. but I did leave them on this time.

I peed on the carpet again this morning *sigh*. I couldn’t help myself.

Oh, man, I almost forgot! Last night, I got the best tummy scratch ever. It was awesome, and it lasted for probably 20 minutes.

It’s nice to know that the humans still love me despite my imperfections (however few and far between those may be).

I’ll try and post a photo later.

I’d been holdin’ it for hours. I really had to go, just woke up from a nap, you know how it is.

Anyway, so I was peeing on the carpet, and I was mid-stream, when all of a sudden, next thing I knew I was flyin’ out the front door. What the hell!? The humans are faster than I gave them credit for. It’s like they don’t want me to do that, or something.

Also, check out this picture that my human took of me. I’d been chewing on my rope and got tired and decided to take a little nap.

I kinda screwed up again.

I took my collar off while I was outside and I don’t remember where I left it….. All my tags were on there (name/phone number, dog license, rabies tag). The humans aren’t real happy. *sigh* All these new rules are hard.

The collar didn’t hold me. The harness didn’t hold me. The humans tried again to contain me with a large chain-link kennel with 6ft high walls.

Tonight, I escaped that, too!

Ohyah! Who’s the dog!? I’m the dog.

I’m not going to sugar coat it. I’m pissed.

Last night, I was a sick dog. You see, the vet gave me medecine that my humans say is supposed to …. cure me of various intestinal parasites….. and last night, well…. stuff started comin’ out both ends. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t fun.

So what do my new humans do when I need comforting and taken care of in my time of need? They put me outside in the yard! I had to sleep out ther eall night last night, in the cold, sick, alone……

Stupid humans and their stupid carpet.

When the humans aren’t looking, I’m going to wiggle my way out of my perfectly well-fitting, snug and secure 5pt harness and then, just for good measure, I’ll stash it under the dog house.