So the humans have been restricting my Internet access and not clipping my toenails.

Ok, I’m back! I’ve had a hard time getting on here to post lately, so please forgive the delays!

I’ve been a bit preoccupied with important things, like licking myself and making sure the humans don’t feed me poisoned dog food.

Seriously, though……….. I hate the kitchen floor. Have I mentioned that? The linoleum just creeps me the hell out. I can’t stand to have it under foot. My human tried to make me walk through the kitchen the other day to get to the bathroom…. No. NO way. I refuse.

So I got carried, and unceremoniously dumped onto the bathroom floor. I’ll admit it. I know it wasn’t a very many thing to do, but I plastered myself to that floor and I cried like a baby.

Then I was once again picked up and dumped into the bath tub. Ahh, that bath felt good. I love baths!

I’ve grown, too. I’m a lot taller than I used to be. I used to be about the same height as the other dog, but now she has no problems walking under me.

Here are a couple of new photos. Check out my new collar. I’m off to play tag with the short human!

My Sincerest Apologies

Ok, wow. I’m really really really sorry I haven’t updated in forever! Man, it’s just rough. The humans were all sick, and then everyone was busy, there haven’t been any new photos taken, and wow… Time just flew by. I didn’t realize it had been so long.

Life with the humans has been great. Except for that one time I got <i>thrown</i> outside for peeing from one end of the house to the other and back …. and then peeing on the human’s feet. I really had to go! But it was cold, and I didn’t want to go outside, so a chase ensued and I just couldn’t hold it.

Other than that, though, I’ve left nothing at all on the carpet for the humans to complain about. Aside from that one morning, I’ve been a “good dog.”

I really like the ohter dog. We get along great, and she’s fun to chew on. You can only push her so far, though. Still, I like to gnaw on her elbows.

The humans ordered a fence collar for me today, so I, too, can roam the yard in relative freedom. I’m not sure exactly how it works yet, but I’m excited to get it and give it a try.

I destroyed my favorite chew toy the other night. It was fun, but at the same time, I was kind of sad when it was thrown in the garbage. I admit, I actually cried. I’m a big softie. Other than that, though, I’ve been great! I’ve had a bit of a cough, but it’s going away.

AROOOOO!

Sorry I didn’t update yesterday, folks. My paws were tired from digging a giant hole in the back yard, so I could get under the wall of my kennel. Those silly humans. If I can’t go over, I’ll go under. I was pretty proud of that hole, too. It was huge! Took me half the morning to dig, but in the end, it was worth it.  I got my collar and my tags all muddy again, though…. but I did leave them on this time.

I peed on the carpet again this morning *sigh*. I couldn’t help myself.

Oh, man, I almost forgot! Last night, I got the best tummy scratch ever. It was awesome, and it lasted for probably 20 minutes.

It’s nice to know that the humans still love me despite my imperfections (however few and far between those may be).

I’ll try and post a photo later.

So, I was peeing on the carpet, right….

I’d been holdin’ it for hours. I really had to go, just woke up from a nap, you know how it is.

Anyway, so I was peeing on the carpet, and I was mid-stream, when all of a sudden, next thing I knew I was flyin’ out the front door. What the hell!? The humans are faster than I gave them credit for. It’s like they don’t want me to do that, or something.

Also, check out this picture that my human took of me. I’d been chewing on my rope and got tired and decided to take a little nap.

Oops….

I kinda screwed up again.

I took my collar off while I was outside and I don’t remember where I left it….. All my tags were on there (name/phone number, dog license, rabies tag). The humans aren’t real happy. *sigh* All these new rules are hard.

Houdini Dog Strikes Again!

The collar didn’t hold me. The harness didn’t hold me. The humans tried again to contain me with a large chain-link kennel with 6ft high walls.

Tonight, I escaped that, too!

Ohyah! Who’s the dog!? I’m the dog.

Put Out

I’m not going to sugar coat it. I’m pissed.

Last night, I was a sick dog. You see, the vet gave me medecine that my humans say is supposed to …. cure me of various intestinal parasites….. and last night, well…. stuff started comin’ out both ends. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t fun.

So what do my new humans do when I need comforting and taken care of in my time of need? They put me outside in the yard! I had to sleep out ther eall night last night, in the cold, sick, alone……

Stupid humans and their stupid carpet.

And now, for my next trick…..

When the humans aren’t looking, I’m going to wiggle my way out of my perfectly well-fitting, snug and secure 5pt harness and then, just for good measure, I’ll stash it under the dog house.

Personality Quirks

I have a few personality quirks…. Things that make me, well… me. It’s been fun watching the humans discover them.

I’m a lickaholic. I can’t help it. If you’re petting me, I’ve gotta lick ya!

I like to pretend that I’m a cat and scoot along the floor to rub my back against the front of the sofa, or walk under the coffee table or the piano bench to give my back a good scratching.

I have a fear of doors. I don’t know what it is about them, but I’m afraid to go outside, or to come back inside. Once I’m out or in, I’m fine, but the actual walking through the doorway…. just can’t bring myself to do it. Not even liver has the power to make me step over that threshhold.

The humans are trying to teach me not to jump up on people, especially the short one. If I jump up on Short One, she topples over and doesn’t like it very much. I just want to play! Oh well, I’m trying, but sometimes, it’s hard not to jump up on people. I get so excited to see them.

Home For Good

Well, it took a few days, but I’m finally home. Technically, I was home before now, but after staying here for a couple of hours, I decided that I needed one last grand adventure in my life as a free dog…. so I escaped! I won’t go into the boring details. Let’s just say that I went out to sow some wild oats one last time and discovered that I’d already been threshed. Folks, there are some serious Marty-bits missing down there!

Anyway, I finally decided to wander home, all on my own and man, I don’t think leaving was such a good idea. The humans were beside themselves when I wandered back into the driveway (just as they were getting ready to leave). I’ve never seen humans so happy. I think they may have missed me.

I’ll try not to do that again! It’s good to be home.